‘I don’t accept I have fibromyalgia’, I heard a lady in our fibro group say.
I got it. I knew exactly what she was saying. I had said it myself not so long ago.
In NLP we believe that there is always a positive intent for someone’s behaviour and this was mine:
I could pretend to the outside world I was fine.
I could try to ignore any more symptoms that could come my way.
I didn’t need to face any changes I may need to make in my life because, ‘change is scary!’
I didn’t have to resign myself to, I’m stuck with this condition forever.
I have no control and there is nothing I can do about it.
Denial superficially meant: All’s well in my world!
But it wasn’t!
The reality of Denial really meant:
Putting myself through agonising flares.
Not even acknowledging I had to make changes let alone actually making them, that would help me to manage fibro symptoms.
Becoming frustrated and angry with myself because I could no longer live at the pace of life I had been used to living, not only physically but also mentally.
The truth was, my perspective of the word accept was wrong.
I believed that if I accepted I had fibromyalgia, I was resigning myself to a life of pain, fatigue and the myriad of symptoms that ensue and there was nothing I could do about it. Meaning, I was totally at the mercy (or not, as the case maybe) of fibromyalgia.
What’s the difference?
Accepting you have the condition or accepting the condition.
Once I understood the difference, I was able to accept I had the condition fibromyalgia. I didn’t have to like it that was irrelevant. I understood and accepted that fibromyalgia doesn’t sit nicely in the conventional medical model and expecting my doctor to come up with a solution was, for the moment, not going to happen. So, what next?
Accepting that I do have fibromyalgia meant that I could take back control over my life. I was now in a position to start researching the ways that I could help myself. I was moving myself away from illness and towards health.
Did you miss Has Fibro Taken Over Your Life Part 1 Your Thoughts. Click here to catch up xx
Have a wonderful day xxx